Hiya lovelies, I’m just checking in to say hi. I’ve had a terrible few days and today I was sent for a CT scan. The doctor has also ordered blood tests to check for heavy metals. I’m feeling a little scared to be honest, everything hurts so badly and nothing removes the pain. It’s such a dramatic change from how well I was feeling less than a month ago. I’m scared that I won’t be able to work, garden, or enjoy the small things again and I’m swinging (wildly) between optimism and the what ifs.

I’m sorry I’ve been a little snappy with everyone lately. I ask that you bear with me until I get this sorted one way or another. I’ve had to deal with so much in recent years and my solace through all of it was that I could walk and enjoy nature and leave the trauma behind. Losing the ability to walk for more than a few minutes or being able to drive has been devastating.

I came across this on the internet this afternoon and it resonated so I’m sharing it. I’m not sure who originally wrote it.

  • I’ve survived some pretty terrible things.
  • I know there is light at the end of the tunnel.
  • I know that it’s okay to allow yourself to feel awful and to share it with others.
  • I know that I’m not alone.
  • I know I can get through this.
  • I know there is no shame in asking for help and for understanding.

I need to keep reminding myself that I can get through this. I’m hoping to have some answers in the coming week. Say a prayer for me. Love to all, toni xx

18 thoughts on “Tuesday.”

  1. Toni- wishing a way forward and answers to your concerns and that your health improves. Hugs & prayers.

  2. Toni I do hope you get some answers and action soon. Take care and do what you need to do to feel better. Cheers 🌹

  3. Went through this for years looking for answers. I was dx with Lupus and sjogrens. I was young and now I am old. If I could change anything would be not to worry and allow fear to have any say in my life. My knees are wearing out but I have had a great life. I finally accepted my lot and put my trust in Jesus. I learned to rest in the middle of the day and quit trying to keep up and measure myself by others. May God give you peace of mind and still your soul which cannot change anything (your soul). I ask that wisdom be given to your healthcare team and revelation. I also ask for a gift of healing for you spirit, soul, and body in Jesus name. (I mean no offense)

  4. So sorry your going through this. Put your trust in God, He can heal you. I will
    have you in my prayers too. Hang in there, your stronger than you may think.
    God bless you.

  5. Hang in there Toni❣️ Remember that there are quilters all over that are send out good thoughts and sincere prayers for you. As you walk through this dark valley not only is your family there but god as well. Praying for god’s healing grace 🙏🙏🙏🙏

  6. Absolutely sending prayers, good thoughts and peace. Hope you get some answers doon!! ❤❤❤Debbi

  7. Toni – I have my fingers crossed that they find whatever us wrong soon and it can be fixed. Really – there is no need to reply to everyone – we all know what you are going thru – just look after yourself and do what you need to do for your health.

  8. Toni,
    Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I will be praying for you to feel like your old self quickly.

  9. Prayers are coming your way. I feel your pain. I have 4 herniated discs in my back. They discovered those after back pain was treated with knee surgery and hip surgery. They did not help. I spent nearly a year with a back surgeon to no avail. Now going to another specialist. So I pray for you and wish you the best.

  10. Oh Toni……my heart bleeds for you. Soon you will have an answer and relief. I think of you often!
    Love you, Char

  11. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You’re stronger than you know. There are smart people out there who will figure out your mystery and get you back on the mend. Hugs-

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