Hello lovelies, how has your week been? I’m stuck in the hamster wheel that is a trauma disorder. I’ve decided that it’s time to be honest but it’s hard to do this when your livelihood depends on your creativity, contract work, and outside sources. It’s the fastest way to get zero work, which means zero earnings, which equals more anxiety LOL.
Don’t worry I’m not going to bang on about it in a doom and gloomish way. However it’s a relief to come clean about it, and it’s actually quite interesting how my brain has changed – it simply doesn’t work the same way as before.
Pre violent neighbour I could pull a bag of fabric out of the cupboard and whip together a beautiful quilt without any thought or effort. I can’t do that anymore, my brain only sees chaos in that bag of fabric. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle that I can’t put back together no matter how hard I try.
It’s the same when I go to a fabric store. I know what I want, but the moment I walk into the store I can’t concentrate on all the different fabrics. Suddenly everything is a jumbled mess and I can’t think. I get overwhelmed very easily. Both by projects and people.
I can no longer work on multiple projects either. Before I could work on four, five, six quilts at one time without any effort. Now… well it’s taken four months to put together the pig quilt LOL. I’m still laughing. Thank God I was blessed with a strong (life-saving) sense of humour.
It’s not the end of my creativity, I just need come at it in a different way. For instance, if I organise my fabrics before I start my project I can progress to the next step more easily. I really have to re-learn how to work, change my habits, turn chaos into order. Most of all I need to be kind to myself and stop worrying that people think I’m totally mad LOL.
So lovely people, here’s to Day #1 on my journey to recovery. I won’t promise it will be a smooth ride but life never is, is it?
Ps. As a thank you, everything is 25% off in our Etsy store. There is 25% off in our webstore too but you will need to use a coupon code. Enter SPRING-AUTUMN-SALE at the checkout to receive your discount.