I’ve been wallowing in a muddy pool of self-pity. And it’s probably time I squared my shoulders and climbed out of the pond.
Life sometimes sends us curve-balls.
A friend is dying. She doesn’t know she is dying, her family have chosen not to tell her, to protect her. And I can’t say goodbye.
When I was broken she was the mother-figure I so desperately needed. I can’t tell her that I will be grateful until my dying days that she saved me from myself so many times. That simply hearing her voice was therapy to me. A warm aural hug down a cold phone line. She understood what it was to come from a totally dysfunctional family, and she knew what it was to be broken into a million pieces.
Flowers on a grave cannot express the words, the emotion, the grief.
Someone else very close to us has been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer this week. The curve-balls continue to come. But I won’t wallow in my self-pity anymore. I will square my shoulders, climb out of the muddy ooze and face what comes. My friend showed me how to do that.
Love to all, toni xx